This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
