I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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