im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
