Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
