pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
