Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
