Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
