Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
