so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
