when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
