better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
