I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize