he referred to my room as the tit cave...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
