a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
