am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize