Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
