no, he came in my armpit
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
