please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Found your dick twin last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
