The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
