Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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