i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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