Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
