So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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