i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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