I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
