Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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