ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
