is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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