bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize