Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize