Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
