Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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