Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
