morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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