Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
