I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
