She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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