Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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