I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
