That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
