If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize