Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize