NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
