its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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