On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
