Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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