And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
