She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she smelled like a LAN party
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
