I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
