Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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