Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Are we still banned from the library?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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