I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
