She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
