So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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