I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize