I just made out with a guy for $7.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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