please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there was a trapeze. enough said
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
