Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
