so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
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gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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