I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
