I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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