The maid of honor just puked.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
