I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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