I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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